His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How external is "for external use only"?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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