i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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