Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I had to cum in my sink.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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