That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
