if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
