I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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