His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize