What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
