Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Panties = found
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
