Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
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after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
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margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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