Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
