Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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