Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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