bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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