pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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