at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
