I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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