The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
