it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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