i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
