I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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