Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
