I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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