i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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