Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

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  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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  (504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.

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  (610): then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer. http://tfl.nu/jb6y
  Replies (21) Good night (1018) Bad night (3826)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth

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  (419): It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth http://tfl.nu/totm
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

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  (412): I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum http://tfl.nu/2gzo
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.

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  (440): Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family. http://tfl.nu/crmt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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  (517): she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK http://tfl.nu/ybgq
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila

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  (612): I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila http://tfl.nu/4u8b
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  (845): View more from New York

  Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.

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  (845): Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents. http://tfl.nu/6leg
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

  (518): View more from New York

  So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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  (203): If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi. (518): So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits? http://tfl.nu/jsif
  Replies (36) Good night (4787) Bad night (851)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.

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  (801): When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon. http://tfl.nu/dq5q
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday

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  (616): She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday http://tfl.nu/c1kw
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  (562): View more from California

  New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips

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  (562): New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips http://tfl.nu/8ne3
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

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  (570): I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick http://tfl.nu/k83b
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (298)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.

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  (404): He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie. http://tfl.nu/bwlf
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt

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