I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.