One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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