Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?