I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.