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her vagine was all disorganized.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
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