id be glad to
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.