Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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