nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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