I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
