How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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