he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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