I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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