wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
