If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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