I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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