Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize