Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
