we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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