i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
