you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
