Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
