drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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