Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I sprained my soul last night
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
