I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
