Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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(334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4

Replies (12) Good night (1759) Bad night (5064)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton

(781): View more from Massachusetts

then i met college

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(781): when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton (781): then i met college http://tfl.nu/kd7x

Replies (17) Good night (6411) Bad night (886)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.

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(505): That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club. http://tfl.nu/cpxm

Replies (44) Good night (1151) Bad night (6583)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card

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(978): almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/wy4z

Replies (19) Good night (5881) Bad night (1091)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!

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(715): Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics! http://tfl.nu/fchw

Replies (15) Good night (6348) Bad night (1546)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for

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(+32): guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for http://tfl.nu/2pon

Replies (16) Good night (5382) Bad night (1152)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

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(303): Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me. http://tfl.nu/hog8

Replies (3) Good night (1088) Bad night (2521)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!

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(816): Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/dodw

Replies (15) Good night (1203) Bad night (7223)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...

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(419): You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter... http://tfl.nu/2dxo

Replies (10) Good night (1667) Bad night (838)
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(650): View more from California

Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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(650): Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america http://tfl.nu/igww

Replies (8) Good night (1895) Bad night (596)
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(850): View more from Florida

I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...

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(850): I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away... http://tfl.nu/luji

Replies (3) Good night (1405) Bad night (487)
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(530): View more from California

My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed

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(530): My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed http://tfl.nu/lqy8

Replies (5) Good night (1000) Bad night (424)
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(352): View more from Florida

We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.

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(352): We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home. http://tfl.nu/59j5

Replies (7) Good night (939) Bad night (783)
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(618): View more from Illinois

i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop

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(618): i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop http://tfl.nu/c36z

Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (336)
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(678): View more from Georgia

just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets

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(678): just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets http://tfl.nu/dsve

Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (390)

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