you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.