it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.