i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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