No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You made out with two different species that night
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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