Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i don't plan on having that self control this summer

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(214): View more from Texas

new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.

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(630): View more from Illinois

you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"

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(330): View more from Ohio

WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation

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