Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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  (847): She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses. http://tfl.nu/wrem
  Replies (50) Good night (1320) Bad night (4711)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (7949) Bad night (1226)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...

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  (914): When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/3yo6
  Replies (13) Good night (4948) Bad night (1157)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.

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  (807): at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket. http://tfl.nu/odip
  Replies (8) Good night (5178) Bad night (1592)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

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  (907): Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog http://tfl.nu/oh2n
  Replies (16) Good night (2861) Bad night (1150)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.

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  (541): Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either. http://tfl.nu/a1p0
  Replies (9) Good night (1986) Bad night (719)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.

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  (928): its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u. http://tfl.nu/h95p
  Replies (22) Good night (1508) Bad night (3932)
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  (805): View more from California

  It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.

  (1-805): View more from California

  That's kinky shit dude.

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  (805): It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening. (1-805): That's kinky shit dude. http://tfl.nu/fc85
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (1171)
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  (716): View more from New York

  please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.

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  (716): please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this. http://tfl.nu/hb6a
  Replies (1) Good night (803) Bad night (374)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica

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  (740): The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica http://tfl.nu/yubm
  Replies (4) Good night (1168) Bad night (361)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.

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  (724): You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures. http://tfl.nu/2cky
  Replies (1) Good night (842) Bad night (357)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina

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  (360): i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina http://tfl.nu/287f
  Replies (18) Good night (414) Bad night (1855)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.

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  (727): His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten. http://tfl.nu/7i5j
  Replies (12) Good night (915) Bad night (305)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly

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  (443): Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly (443): Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly http://tfl.nu/ja6d
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl

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  (443): Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl http://tfl.nu/vb8k
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (536)

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