my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in