I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.