Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
