in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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