break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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