We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
