my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
