omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
