We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
