i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
