I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
