yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
