Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
