when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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