The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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