Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
