I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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